​EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW TO KICK MY HUSBAND’S ASS AT JEOPARDY, I LEARN FROM ROMANCE NOVELS FROM 1/30/16

I’m sitting in my doctor’s office reading a book with a naked chest on the cover. And you’re judging me. Why is that exactly? Is it because you think I’ll learn more reading Moby-Dick than I will reading Moby’s Dick? What if Moby’s a rocket scientist who likes to talk about work? Take a good look at this “smut” I’m reading. Chances are, there’s a plot in here somewhere. Let’s examine the facts, shall we?

d356b-nascar-drafting-1#1. K. Bromberg’s Driven series. I learned more about racing than any girl who hates racing could ever possibly want to know. At first I didn’t think all the sporty lingo was necessary, but when Rylee donned the little checkered flag panties, it was helpful to know they meant Colton was a “winner.”

Jeopardy Clue: It’s the process of two or more cars moving in close nose-to-tail formation to reduce air resistance and increase speed around the track.

Answer: What is drafting?

3094e-assisi#2. Have you read Sylvain Reynard? If you haven’t, you’re missing out. Dude (possibly dudette–but I’ll save that for another post) can bring forth the tears. Thanks to him/her, I’m a walking Cliff Notes for Dante’s Divine Comedy, which by the way, was the topic for an entire category on Jeopardy not so long ago. It was like Santa came early. And, even better, it reappeared on Final Jeopardy (and anyone who’s anyone knows…nothing beats getting Final Jeopardy!).

Clue: It was Giovanni Boccaccio who added this adjective to another Italian author’s work.

Answer: What is divine? And yes, the look on my husband’s face was divine.

But Reynard doesn’t stop there. If you’re not careful, you’ll learn all about Florence and Assisi too!

1294e-pieta#3. Speaking of Italy, I read this steamy little book by Lisa Desrochers called A Little Too Far. It’s about a girl torn between her step-brother back home and a soon-to-be priest in Rome. Quit scowling. I said step-brother!I learned oodles about Rome and the Vatican Museums. But more importantly, I learned if you decide to confess to an Italian priest that you boinked your bro, your penance will be fifteen Hail Marys and hours volunteering with the smokin’ hot pre-priest across the street.

Clue: Michelangelo delivered on the promise to carve the most beautiful work of marble in Rome with this sculpture.

Answer: Oh yeah…they showed a picture. Of what you ask? The Pieta!

mozarts-geburtshaus-mit-hagenauerplatz_260907#4. Moving north from Italy, Rush by Emma Scott is one of my favorite books. It’s about a Julliard-trained violinist who’s hired as a personal assistant to a super yummy (former) extreme-sport athlete who’s left blind following an extreme-sport accident, and hijinks ensue. Whew! That’s a mouthful! (That’s what she said!)

Clue: In Salzburg you can visit the house where he was born and see such mementos as his childhood violin and his clavichord.

Answer: Who is Mozart? Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

#5. It probably goes without saying, but I’m pretty well versed in the day-to-day life of a dom as well. But I have yet to see BDSM come up on Jeopardy, and I’ve written Alex 50 shades—er, times!

Those are just a few of the invaluable little tidbits I’ve come across during my erotic journey. I’m sure the vast knowledge I’m acquiring may make some of you a tad jealous, but don’t let it. Erotic romance is for everyone! And the next time you see me alone in a restaurant with a questionable book in my hand and a scarlet flush on my face, don’t be so quick judge! I’m just studying!

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